Dad wanted to talk to me today.. about “life” and “school.” And I knew what that meant. Because recently I let out how I really felt about Molloy. It all started out with me opening an envelope with my name on it and reading a bill for a student loan. Apparently Mom didn’t want me to find out. I feel like I was forced to go to Molloy. They told me if I went there, I wouldn’t need to take out any loans. If I had gone to Iona, I would have been paying the loans off forever. So I gave up what I wanted to make my parents happy. And I went to Molloy. I don’t like it there. I like the school, but I don’t have friends. I’m a loner. I have nowhere to go after classes and no one to talk to. I feel like all I do is drive back and forth to that place. I spend at least 40 minutes in my car. Every day. It’s a lonely feeling. Then I get to go to work. Monday to Thursday or Tuesday to Friday. For four hours. Sixteen hours a week. It’s tiring dealing with the public. With the ridiculous people who think they’re more important than you are. Then I come home. I eat dinner alone. I put my own food away. I do my homework as quickly as I can and usually get to bed late. I don’t sleep much anymore. My mind is always tired. My body always hurts. But it’s my life. That’s what Dad wanted to talk to me about today. He said he knows how unhappy I am with how my life is right now. He knows I don’t like my college. He knows I hate my job. And while these are normal things that people tend to hate, he wants to change it all for me. He said I act older than I really am and that I take on too many things at a time. He said I’m too young to be stressed out all the time. He doesn’t want me to have any regrets in my life. He asked me what I would be doing if I didn’t have to work. I told him that truthfully, all I wanted to do was dance. He told me to do it. He told me to do what made me happy. Dad hates my job just as much as I do. He said my stress from it isn’t worth the amount of money I make. I come home with $100 a week, on a good week. He said he will give me $100 a week to use for anything I need; food, clothes, hair products… But how can I take his money like that? I needed to grow up, and I did. I pay for everything on my own now. And to go in reverse and let Dad give me his money is unfair. I told him dance costs money. He said he’ll pay for it. I said I didn’t want him to. He said he wanted to. He said if I wanted to transfer colleges, he will help me. And pay for everything along the way. He said even if I wanted to move to Florida next summer and work in Disney World, he will support me. He said he wanted me to live my life without any regrets. Then I cried. Now I know what love is.